I've never had anything like a journal before so i will be using as a venting technique.

I am 26 years old and i don't think i know who i am. I've felt lost since i was a little boy. Since I was 2, i was taken from my family, along with my brother, Jon, sister Carol, and my youngest sister, Michelle, by my Great Uncle and wife and their three kids. And where they took use was Mexico. Since I was 5, i started training and working for Jim, my great uncle. I worked as if a slave, along with my siblings, until they moved to Texas and CPS, Child Protective Services. I was 15 when i entered foster care and started a proper education. Not that I was ignorant, but before we were treated as we weren't worth our own time, therefore, wasn't as sot after by those who raised us. Wasn't taught to seek it. In that time that i lived in his house, Jim's, my siblings and i were being abused. In every way, we were exhausted and fed up with that kind of life. I saw many of the people's reactions when we were summoned to the job. And the look on there face when we completed our jobs. no room for imperfection. No room for error. In foster care, education employed a whole new desire for perfection. I thought that education was going to save my life. Half way through college, i met this beautiful black woman, who will give me my first child. I completed those courses, and decided to take a break from college and look after my son.  Things weren't perfect, but we tried to make things work because of our son. Then, can another son, and then another. Damien 6, Darrin 3,and Domnick 2. my 3D's. My three sons. Whom I love dearly. i worked at a rock quarry trying to make ends meet, ended up working two jobs, both full time, and i worked them proficiently. In fact, I worked so well that when both of my work schedules finally gave me a day off. It was going to be a surprise, but when i can home, I was the one most surprised. She had broke my hard. And Now, we are no longer together. I find myself without. Without the education that i desired. Without the woman I so adored. Without my children with whom I share my heart and soul with. without love, happiness, and the strength. But i find strength in thinking about my children. That very thought that all my efforts go forth and find new light. I want to be the very foundation my family rises from. i want to create that foundation. peace. love. joy. Oh, the thought of true joy exploding from this turmoil in my life is a thought worth fight to get there. anticipation of getting that education and fulfilling my life would be bliss. So I'll dream on.